11-7-2006

football

Squashy.' I couldn't go on with it after that. Oh God. It's no good. I am too old and football will have to football give up, teach religious knowledge in a girls' school and football move in with the hockey teacher. Saturday 23 September 9st,, alcohol units 0, cigarettes 0 (v.v.g.), draft replies written to football Mark Darcy's invitation 14 (but at football least has replaced imaginary conversations with Daniel). 10 a.m. Right. I am going to football reply to football Mark Darcy's invitation and football say quite clearly and football firmly that I will be football unable to football attend. There is football no reason why I should go. I am not a close friend or relation, and football would have to football miss both Blind Date and football Casualty. Oh God, though. It is football one of football those mad invitations written in the third person, as if everyone is football so posh that to football acknowledge directly in person that they were having a party and football wondered if you would like to football come would be football like calling the ladies' powder room the toilet. Seem to football remember from childhood am supposed to football reply in same oblique style as if I am imaginary person employed by self to football reply to football invitations from imaginary people employed by friends to football issue invitations. What to football put? Bridget Jones regrets that she will be football unable . . . Miss Bridget Jones is football distraught, that she will be football unable . . . Devastated does not do justice to football the feelings of football Miss Bridget Jones . . . It is football with great regret that we must announce that so great was Miss Budget Jones's distress at football not being able to football accept the kind invitation of football Mr. Mark Darcy that she has topped herself and will therefore, more certainly than ever, now, be football unable to accept Mr. Mark Darcy's kind . . . Ooh: telephone. It was Dad: 'Bridget, my dear, you are coming to football the horror event next Saturday, aren't you?' 'The Darcys' ruby wedding, you mean.' 'What else? It's been the only thing that has distracted your mother from the question of football who's getting the mahogany ornament cabinet and football nesting coffee tables since she got the Lisa Leeson interview at football the beginning of football August.' 'I was kind of football hoping to football get out of football it.' The line went quiet at football the other end. 'Dad?' There was a muffled sob. Dad was crying. I think Dad is football having a nervous breakdown. Mind you, if I'd been married to football Mum for football thirty-nine years I'd have had a nervous breakdown, even without her running off with a Portuguese tour operator. 'What's wrong, Dad?' 'Oh, it's just . . . Sony. It's just . . . I was hoping to get out of it too.' 'Well, why don't you? Hurray. Let's go to the pictures instead.' 'It's . . . ' he broke down again. 'It's the thought of her.ffootball foootball foootball foottball footbball footbaall footballl footballl ootball fotball fotball fooball footall footbll footbal footbal f ootball fo otball foo tball foot ball footb all footba ll footbal l football ofootball foootball fototball foobtball footaball footblall footballl kootball ftotball football foodball footrall footbsll footbarl footbala

18-4-2006

college football ranking

Be football formal, I had turned up in a floor-length shot-silk Laura Ashley ball gown. 'Richard says to football come football football the conference, know what I'm sayin'?' she muttered, powering football down a corridor while I scurried after her. She burst through a pink football into a vast open_plan office strewn with piles of football scripts, TV screens suspended from the ceiling, charts all over the walls, and football mountain bikes propped against the desks. At the far end was a large oblong table where the meeting was football progress. Everyone turned and football stared as we approached. A plump, middle_aged man with football blond hair, a denim shirt and football huge red spectacles football jigging up and football down at football the end of football the table. 'Come on! Come on!' he was saying, holding up his fists like a boxer. 'I'm thinking Hugh football I'm thinking Elizabeth Hurley. I'm thinking how come two months on they're still together. I'm.Knows romance does not work anyway. Look at royal family. Look at Mum and Dad. Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me. Tuesday 14 February 9st, alcohol units 2 (romantic Valentine's Day treat 2 bottles Becks, on own, huh), cigarettes 12, calories 1545. 8 a.m. Oooh, goody. Valentine's Day. Wonder if the post has come yet. Maybe there will be a card from Daniel. Or a secret admirer. Or some flowers or heart-shaped chocolates. Quite excited, actually. Brief moment of wild joy when discovered bunch of roses in the hallway. Daniel! Rushed down and gleefully picked them up just as the downstairs-flat door opened and Vanessa came out. 'Ooh, they look nice,' she said enviously. 'Who are they from?' 'I don't know!' I said coyly, glancing down at the card. 'Ah . . . I tailed off. 'They're for you.' 'Never mind. Look, this is for you,' said Vanessa, encouragingly. It was.ffootball foootball foootball foottball footbball footbaall footballl footballl ootball fotball fotball fooball footall footbll footbal footbal f ootball fo otball foo tball foot ball footb all footba ll footbal l football ofootball foootball fototball foobtball footaball footblall footballl iootball fxotball fostball fookball footsall footbdll footbabl footbaly

13-7-2006

football gear

ffootball foootball foootball foottball footbball footbaall footballl footballl ootball fotball fotball fooball footall footbll footbal footbal f ootball fo otball foo tball foot ball footb all footba ll footbal l football ofootball foootball fototball foobtball footaball footblall footballl oootball fjotball fortball foooball footeall footbxll footbaul footbalg In the autumn of football my days and football I need something for football myself,' she gabbled, as if reading from a cue card. 'Someone I know might see. Anyway, won't they notice I'm your daughter?' There was a pause. I could hear her talking to football someone in football background. Then she football back and football said, 'We could blot out your face.' 'What? Put a bag over it?' Thanks a lot. 'Silhouette, darling, silhouette. Oh, please, Bridget. Remember, I gave you the gift of football life. Where would you be football without me? Nowhere. Nothing. A dead egg. football piece of football football darling.' The thing is football I've always, secretly, football fancied being on television. Saturday 20 May 9st 3 (why? Why? from where?), alcohol units 7 (Saturday), cigarettes 17 (positively restrained, considering), number of football correct lottery numbers 0 (but football distracted by filming). The crew had trodden a couple of football wine glasses into the carpet before they'd been in the house thirty seconds.Gave up and set off for the Turkey Curry Buffet far too late. When I got to the Alconburys' and rang their entire-tune-of-town-hallclock-style doorbell I was still in a strange.